The Pain of Love
The waves lapped at her feet, tickling her toes. Her beautifully carved hands adorned her lap. Her head was balanced on her elbows while the feral wind blew her long tresses in wild circles. Her gorgeous face rested peacefully while the smile had been washed off . A tear trickled by her rosy cheeks.
She was waiting…….just like yesterday……her engagement day.
The ambience was serene and there was an eerie purple glow to the water in the ocean. The full moon in the sky provided a brilliant light. The velvet dark clouds drifted by, soothing the damp air. The sand at the shore enjoyed the touch of her feet. Her long locks touched the water nearby and her magic charm was transferred.
Then the clock tower nearby struck 3. The moon light dimmed and dark clouds hovered above. Towards the East, the sun was rising slowly and some red harsh rays were visible on the horizon.
She gasped deeply for breath…..she tried standing but it was futile, her legs and hands had lost life.. All that kept her alive was her fluttering heart….. which as letting go too.
Then slowly, she breathed her last breath…but she couldn’t leave without a trace… The slow drops of the drizzle washed off her tears….
“If only you had said, I Love Someone else- today would not have been the last day of my life.” The words rung in the air.
The diamond studded engagement ring was shimmering far more bright than the velvety moon hanging in the sky.
There was no one around. She was the lone figure, the most beautiful, far more beautiful than the sea or the moon…..but lifeless charismatic beauty it was!
23 comments:
sweet one for a 13 year old .. good one megs
This is a nice image, but I had trouble figuring out how her hands could be in her lap and her head balancing on her elbows. Kept reading it over and over again. Then I tried to do it in my office. Then my coworker mocked me.
Beautiful language ... very hard pose.
Hi there!
You paint beautiful pictures. You are so gifted!
I don't feel qualified to give technical feedback. As a reader, I wasn't sure about the cause of the sadness..he loved someone else? Perhaps I should read again huh? Probably missed something.
I enjoy your writing so much!
All the best to you my dear.
Ouch!! that hurt...
nice expressions girl... you have painted a beautiful picture... i could visualize it....
That was very nice!! :) Keep it up
@ Chriz- Hey....don't judge it that way...thanks :)
@ Kat- I guess you got it wrong. Sit on the ground. Then fold you knees upto your chin. put you chin there and hands on lap....easy :P
@ Julette- No you got it right. He loved someone else. I guess that shows am not that good a writer. Couldn't even make my readers get it.....thanks by the way :D
@ IWA- Thanks :P
@ Sakhi di- Am glad :)
wonderfully penned! for a 13 year old, thats pretty impressive!
This is (wonderfully) sad.
You have beautifully penned down the emotions. You are too young to write about this ;)
are u a poet?
need bpo jobs without a single rupee!!!!!!!! a genuine job from home.
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Sweet..!
@ Vinni- Thanks a ton :P
@ Anand- Thanks :P
@ Vaniq- Oh! Now I understand why others say it that way...kk
Thanks!
@ Mahesh- of course not :P
@ Manasa- Thanks :)
Oh sis, u described the moment so bliss, even though u express her distress. I just go through sometime the first line to get connected! Very nice indeed :)
@ Jeevan bro- LOL! Thanks :)
wow, good job meghna ... very well described!
@ Vandita di- Thanks a ton!
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